Let’s face it, when December rolls around here on the third coast there are certain signs of the season you can always count on:
- Needing to pop a Xanax to hopefully survive parking lot purgatory. (I’m lookin’ at you Moore Plaza, La Palmera, and every access road along SPID)
- Candy Cane Lane coming back once again and serving up holiday cheer for another magical year!
Dust off those galoshes because our neighbors over on the South Side have pulled out all the stops once again with dem #NorthPoleVibes you so desperately crave as December 25th approaches.
…hold up. You’re unfamiliar with the festive AF holiday homage known as Candy Cane Lane, you say? Our bad. How sad. Before we gush any further about everyone’s favorite Everhart hot-spot, might we just suggest that you–
STOP. EVERYTHING. YOU. ARE. DOING. OR. PLAN. ON. DOING. AND. GET. YOUR. STINKIN’. SLEIGH BELLS. OVER. TO. CANDY. CANE. LANE.
If you’re a recent transplant to the 361 then you have a pass for not knowing about the time honored and highly adored yearly community creation.
While the rest of us basics string up maybe one set of icicle lights from 1997 by half-ass draping them over our porch, this dedicated crew of Christmas crusaders spends months planning, and weeks creating, coordinating, and carefully constructing the colorful kaleidoscope coined Candy Cane Lane.
Whether this is your first time basking in the thousands of lights cascading along the typically all American looking McAlpin Dr. or if by this point you’ve been around the block (literally) enough to declare yourself a seasoned pro, keep in mind these Dos and Don’ts for your trip down the sweetest street in Corpus Christi.
How many utterly perfect insta-opportunities does Candy Cane Lane offer up?
Snapchat to your hearts content and make the most of the primo-LED lighting, y’all.
Take over someone else’s space!
Sure this kind of celebration is a reminder that we’re all one big, happy, holiday family but don’t barge into someone’s decorative display or violate the unspoken “stay on the sidewalk” rule. Last thing anyone needs is another clumsy Corpus Christian destroying Linda’s nativity scene again!
(FYI, baby Jesus is fine, albeit a bit banged up. But hey, homeboy was born in a barn so it just adds to the rural aesthetic.)
Just remember to admire from the safety of the sidewalk and you’ll be fine.
Join any impromptu carolers!
As a wise elf-man once said, “the best way to spread Christmas Cheer, is singing loud for all to hear.”
So, if the spirit of song sweeps you off your feet (or you want to tag along with another group that’s fa-la-la-la-loving all things Cane Lane) then harmonize away, queen.
Lead a chorus of strangers in your fav Cardi B verse cuz your 4th cup of eggnog just kicked in.
Silent Night isn’t just a classic Christmas tune…it’s also good advice if you or your crew find yourselves a tad turnt while taking in all the winter wonderment. Spit some verses when you get back to your whip and spare your fellow Lane gang from whatever Christmas Karaoke the holiday spirits try to convince you is a good idea.
Don your gay apparel!
Tis the season to be stylish! Who cares if it’s a comfortable 72 degress outside?! Put on that fur lined parka, pimp strut that unfortunate pair of Uggs you refuse to let die, and please don’t hesitate to show off any and all ugly christmas sweaters you have in your arsenal.
(…and did we mention they have MERCH!)
Choose naughty over nice.
Look, we love how Halloween is an excuse to make even the most mundane of costumes, let’s just say… “mature”. However, if you’re thinking of stepping up your festive fashion with a look that would make Rudolph blush, keep in mind that this is a family friendly environment. Save your Old Saint Dick get-up for whomever hurries down your chimney come Christmas morn.
Well…enough talkin’, let’s get to walkin’!
Be sure to enjoy the sights, sounds, and sweet season of memories that Candy Cane Lane has to offer. Once you brave the traffic, take a second to share a stroll along this staple of the South Texas Holiday season with family, friends, or that someone special before it’s gone!